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Five For Fighting To Disband

Singer cites tensions, 'creative differences' as band's undoing

LOS ANGELES - Sruggling to fight back tears, Five For Fighting lead singer/songwriter/instrumentalist John Ondrasik made the announcement Friday at a brief press conference that he is breaking up his one-person project to pursue a solo career. "I've been together so long, this has been a difficult decision" he admitted to reporters. "But I do think it's time to move on and I wish myself the best." Internal tension was cited as the primary reason for the split and Ondrasik admitted he found it increasingly difficult to work with himself under such stressful circumstances. "I think it's an ego thing really," he admitted, his voice cracking. "I'm used to getting my own way and so am I. If I can't reach a compromise and end up having to fight myself all the time, maybe I need to move on." The split comes just as the band was preparing to record his sixth album, tentatively titled Puppies, Butterflies and Rainbows. Ondrasik stated much of the material he'd written for the album will appear on his fist solo disc slated for release next spring.

SC NEWSWIRE: Ex-Soundgarden Guitarist Thayil To Join All-Starr Band

SEATTLE - Despondant over a floundering career which has amounted to little since the breakup of his influential 90's grunge band Soundgarden, underachieving guitarist Kim Thayil begrudgingly accepted an offer from famed Beatle drummer Ringo Starr to join the latest incarnation of his "All-Starr Band". Admitting that "the phone hasn't exactly been ringing off the hook", Thayil had mixed emotions when Starr contacted him over the summer to gauge his interest in recording and going on tour. "I mean, dude's a Beatle and all, but come on. I can play 'Don't Pass Me By' with my f***ing eyes closed." Joining Thayil in the latest version of the All-Starr Band are singer Corey Hart, whose hit "Sunglasses At Night" propelled him to brief stardom in the 80's, Stray Cats bassist Lee Rocker, ex-KC & the Sunshine Band percussionist Fermin Goytisolo and pianist/songwriter Joshua Kadison. Thayil bristles when questioned whether the decision to join Starr's band was borne out of desperation. "Yeah, it's a paycheck, okay?" he snaps. "My kids gotta eat too."

Huey Lewis Dumps News, Introduces "Blogs"

SAN FRANCISCO - 80's pop-rock superstar Huey Lewis, citing "artistic stagnation", has pink-slipped his long-time backing band The News in favor of a new ensemble he has dubbed "The Blogs". Huey Lewis And The Blogs will embark on a stateside tour beginning in the fall according to a band rep, with an album tenatively scheduled for release in late October. "Basically the News have become a nostalgia act," Lewis commented by phone from his home in San Francisco. "I'm tired of playing all that sh*t from 1985 and frankly judging by ticket receipts people are sick of hearing it." Huey Lewis and The News were one of the most popular rock and roll outfits of the 80's, adopting a faux working-class image personified by their breakthrough hit "Working For A Living." The band began as a five-piece unit but recently swelled to eight members and had become, according to Lewis, "something of an albatross around my freakin' neck." Lewis hopes to usher in a new, rawer sound and to that end the Blogs will feature former Guns N' Roses rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin, ex-Faith No More bassist Billy Gould, drummer Shane Evans formerly of Collective Soul, and Donita Sparks, lead guitarist for L7. "I'm excited as hell" Lewis enthuses. "We're gonna kick some ass sho 'nuff." He admits that Huey Lewis and the Blogs "doesn't quite roll off the tongue" like his former outift, however it doesn't concern him in the least. "We're all about shaking things up now so it's kind of cool."

Van Halen World Tour:  Eddie, Roth Out, Durst, Vai In

Fans Outraged;  Threaten lawsuits, boycotts

LOS ANGELES - Van Halen fans were once again handed some rather shocking and disappointing news today regarding their favorite band's lineup.  After a heated verbal altercation between guitarist Eddie Van Halen and vocalist David Lee Roth, both members decided to call it quits, leaving the band in substantial turmoil on the cusp of their upcoming "Still Alive" 2007 World Tour.  As the only remaining founding member, Alex Van Halen was left as the primary decision maker, and quickly decided to keep the band's scheduled engagements. 

In a somewhat hasty move which has been hailed as everything from "desperate" to "catastrophic", Van Halen announced today that former Limp Bizkit vocalist Fred Durst would be installed as Roth's replacement while Grammy Award winning guitarist Steve Vai would replace brother Eddie.  "I just figured the show must go on," Van Halen stated to reporters.  "Freddie and Stevie are two very competent musicians who I felt possessed the greatest potential for picking right up where Eddie and Dave left off."  It appears fans disagree, many of whom began staging nationwide protests within hours of the announcement.  The likelihood of obtaining a refund is slim and none, which leaves ticketholders in a tight spot.  When reached for comment, former frontman Sammy Hagar simply stated "Come see me when you wanna talk tequila.  I'm done talking about my past."