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You Don't Know: The Untold Story Of Godley & Creme

In his latest rock star tell-all book, Aaron Caldwell shows readers the seedier side of music partners (and long-time friends) Kevin Godley & Lol Creme as experienced during his tenure as a beat writer for Hit Parader magazine.  The story begins in Manchester, England, where the dynamic duo met while attending art school.  The two became fast friends, thanks to their shared love of soul music and hardcore pornography.  Several years (and bands) later, the partners gained their first taste of fame (and fine Columbian cocaine) while members of the band 10cc.  According to Caldwell, during this period of their careers, Godley was ingesting enough coke and Creme enough bourbon & cigarettes daily to kill a small elephant.  During a 1980 show in Chicago, tensions within the band reached a boiling point after the men spent an afternoon doing 8-balls and partying with a number of prostitutes.  After a fan in the front-row requested the band play "I'm Not In Love", Godley verbally berated the man for ten minutes and in a fit of paranoid rage, proclaimed that their Canadian fan club was single-handedly responsible for the band's lack of hits over the past three years.  The latter half of the book chronicles the pair as a two-man-band after being ousted from 10cc, when sobriety - and eventually fundamentalist Christianity - took center stage.  After the single "Cry" achieved marginal success, the two vowed to stay permanently clean and even completed a twelve-step program (in reality, only eleven were completed since each felt the 10^th step of "promptly" admitting wrongdoings was a bit needless).  The book is a fantastic read from cover to cover, and is well-suited to most anyone who can appreciate good stories of sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

Pet Sounds: The Movie (DVD)

New on DVD (having recently been discovered in Universal Pictures film vault) is the "Pet Sounds" musical film from 1979, based on the famous Beach Boys album of the same name.  Cut from the same cloth as the critically-panned "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" musical from one year earlier, Pet Sounds is a largely nonsensical story about barnyard hijinks starring The Bee Gees, Peter Frampton, Peter Allen, and an equally-unimpressive supporting cast.  Frampton plays the lead character Sloop John B, a carefree (and mentally unstable) horse who is constantly pining for the love of the prim & proper Caroline cow played by Barbara Dickinson.  The Bee Gees provide narration and comic relief in the form of three bumbling sheep, and provide vocal interpretations of "I Just Wasn't Made For These Times" and "Here Today".  Peter Allen plays Caroline's hunky boyfriend Boris the bull, although is presence is sparse due to Allen's outside obligations at the time.  The plot is weak and unfocused, and the time Frampton spends butchering "You Still Believe In Me" and "That's Not Me" should've instead been devoted to character development.  It doesn't take long to realize why this movie originally never escaped the cutting room floor, and one can't help but wonder what Universal stands to gain from releasing this monstrosity onto the public nearly 30 years after the fact. 

Chicken Soup For The Carny's Soul

Best-selling authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen broaden the scope of the popular Chicken Soup book series by reaching out to one of the most alienated segments of society with their latest compilation of inspirational writings, Chicken Soup For the Carny's Soul. Most of the contributors are carnies themselves and by their own admission barely literate which explains such crudely written essays as "Sope Mak You Be Kleen" and "Wat Is A Tuth Brush". The reprehensible grammar makes the collection difficult reading for anyone unfamiliar with carny malapropisms and by anyone else's standards the lessons contained in these stories and essays are so superficial as to be offensive. For every worthwhile primer on good health practices and basic hygenics there are tasteless tips on how to sleep standing up and tactful ways to bum cigarettes off patrons. Unlike other books in this franchise, there's absolutely nothing here to recommend.

Fathead Rock Star Wall Graphics

For countless numbers of American sports enthusiasts, Fatthead wall graphics have become a popular way to show your team spirit in the form of larger-than-life photos of popular athletes. Thanks to the company's new line of Rock Star graphics, music fans are now afforded the same opportunity.  Each artist is displayed at their respective zeniths in popularity, and the images do a fantastic job of capturing the essence of what made each artist so special.  Currently, your only choices include:  Bob Welch (pictured), Grace Jones, Triumph-frontman Rik Emmett, Meatloaf, and Heart's Ann Wilson.  And while company representatives are willing to admit that selection is "somewhat limited" starting out, they are quick to assure customers that "more options will be made available in the near future" once supply catches up with demand. 

"Hanson: 2006 Live At Wembley" DVD

This newly-released DVD follows the Hanson brothers in preparation for, and during, an ill-advised live engagement at England's Wembley Stadium in the fall of 2006.  From the beginning, it's obvious the group is worried about attendance - which proves to be a valid concern once showtime rolls around.  Less than 1,500 fans show up, rendering the venue essentially empty and conjuring up images from the film "This Is Spinal Tap".  This understandably leads to paramount levels of disappointment and embarrassment among the brothers, and eventually boils over into a heated (and somewhat comical) shouting match amongst themselves and promoter Alan Buckingham after the show.  In the end, the Hansons appear to regret being roped into the whole thing, and hastily vow never to return to that "cruel, merciless" country ever again (this promise was later rescinded on the group's website, and a formal apology was issued).  If it's unintentional comedy that you're after, this film's the one for you.